Birthdays and aging

It was my birthday on Friday. I am probably half way there, depending whether you take my maternal side (Mum 82 this year, Nana died at 98) or my paternal side (Dad 66 (prostate cancer so now he’d have lasted longer), his parents unknown). A bit of a strange one – I probably am slightly fitter than this time last year, less depressed, more optimistic, but I still dislike this number more – perhaps because it is the mid point of a decade – 45.  Probably however the biggest indicator, or acknowledgement of aging for me was getting about a foot of hair cut off 18 months back after having coloured it for 20 years, and going radically short and white grey over night. I figured at the time, being 43 and still having reasonable skin, a reasonable figure and dark eyes, lashes and brows it wouldn’t make me look too ancient.

In principle I hate that women of my age and older want to look younger, to conform to a particular set of stereotypes, and that this undermines the validity of us all at this kind of age. Also, having been a tomboy, then able to rely on strong general colouring and an era when girly style wasn’t the only option, I have little practice at or patience with the full on grooming regime.

However, there are moments when I catch the view, particularly just before a cut is required, when maybe it’s getting a bit mad old lady, rather than edgy, that are quite scary. Intimations of mortality and all that; plus an awareness that a stranger’s fleeting summary would put me in my 50′s. However having looked at the alternatives sported all around me, the other options are depressing in themselves for me. The dark colours were looking increasingly stark (arising from the grave) and the roots were increasingly white and growing through very quickly. The better alternative would be platinum blonde – I did this for my 40th. Great for a while but high maintenance and time consuming. Still a bit tempted though; and that kind of thing isn’t quite as desperate pretend as some of the options. Part of the problem is it grows so bloody quickly and is thick, and as the rather sweet male boy hairdresser said, is coarse! Any solution is very temporary. I just know that I am two days from a haircut and going a bit cold turkey… I think the key thing here is to make sure next time around the haircut is booked the week before not the week after. And buy something a bit cool and special.

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